storys - Geschichten
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The boat trip 29th of July
Dear all. Thank you very much for an unforgettable english party. The best part about it for me is the initiative of Isabelle, Phyllis and Dom. That is the real good spirit of estasympa. I am already looking forward to the trip to Payerne and the Scottish pub. All the best and see you soon Thomas 
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The line-dance
As we introduced line dance in Estavayer, something very special happened - the sun came out and the center-pied came out to learn the dance. Five hundred feet on the left - five hundred feet on the right, but no hands to clap in! 500 splits. An estasympa-agent came and offered him a frog to dance with. But instead of dancing the frog ate the center-pied. Horrified we took the frog and cooked it alive in a pot of boiling water. But, we had no garlic. So Dracula came in because we had no garlic. He said: Can I dance? Yes, but stay in the shade. Who's my partner? The very estasympa-agent. What shall we dance? Dance like Nemo. Who's Nemo? It's not a fish and he lives in Biel/Bienne. Oh, yes, on Eurovision I saw him. And he looked delicious. At that moment Nemo walked by and started to sing the garlic song: Garlic, garlic, garlic, garlic. Oh, I fall in love. I broke the code. I start to love garlic but I have to clean my bloody teeth. Then they line-danced away into the sunset. |
Thank you so much Dom Thomet for your wonderful line-dance performance! Thank you everybody for a very happy time on Monday 27th of May.
See you 24th of June with warm and sunny weather, a new line dance and a lot of fun. |
Lion down
As I was walking up the stairs, I felt the lion statue staring at me. It gave me a shiver in my back bone. Then the door opened and squeaked. What was happening? “Woohooohooohooo,” said the butler with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand. He had blood dripping from his hands. “Oh,” said I, “I didn't know I was in a butcher shop.” The butler said: “Oh no, but you're not.”
Strange sounds were coming from the attic. There was a banjo playing with nobody playing it and a very sad song. The butler said in a low voice: “I'm the fiddler in the attic with the nobody banjo.” I asked: “What time is the show and where can I buy tickets?” “Get it from the lion on the steps!”
The lion said in a stony voice and a hungry eye: “It's a once in the lifetime show and I'll eat you at the end of the show. But there is a riddle and if you guess it you got a free show. What are the names of my lions?” I said: “Patience and Fortitude.” That is not my name,” said the lion with angry eyes and shoot up my foot.
As I was walking up the stairs, I felt the lion statue staring at me. It gave me a shiver in my back bone. Then the door opened and squeaked. What was happening? “Woohooohooohooo,” said the butler with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand. He had blood dripping from his hands. “Oh,” said I, “I didn't know I was in a butcher shop.” The butler said: “Oh no, but you're not.”
Strange sounds were coming from the attic. There was a banjo playing with nobody playing it and a very sad song. The butler said in a low voice: “I'm the fiddler in the attic with the nobody banjo.” I asked: “What time is the show and where can I buy tickets?” “Get it from the lion on the steps!”
The lion said in a stony voice and a hungry eye: “It's a once in the lifetime show and I'll eat you at the end of the show. But there is a riddle and if you guess it you got a free show. What are the names of my lions?” I said: “Patience and Fortitude.” That is not my name,” said the lion with angry eyes and shoot up my foot.
The Whistle Blues
Once upon a time there was a train without a whistle. It became the most dangerous train in the USA, because Phyllis was in Australia. The train was in love with Phyllis and that's why it
lost its whistle. It's got the Whistle Blues.
The driver told the train: “You have to whistle again, otherwise you will go to jail.”
The train started to cry, lost his oil-tears and jumped around like a dog catching his tail. But he slipped on the tears and flipped on his back and directly to the Outback in Australia.
The driver – who was still alive and also in the Outback – wrote a letter to Phyllis with four letters: H E L P! and stuffed it in the pouch of the kangaroo with the name of Isabelle. She rode as fast as possible on her bike to Phyllis.
Phyllis was listening to an opera in the Sydney Opera House. The orchestra was whistling the trains whistle. So, the Orchestra, Isabelle and Phyllis took a yellow bus and drove back to the train. The orchestra played the music, the train was so moved, that Phyllis was back, that it started to whistle again.
Once upon a time there was a train without a whistle. It became the most dangerous train in the USA, because Phyllis was in Australia. The train was in love with Phyllis and that's why it
lost its whistle. It's got the Whistle Blues.
The driver told the train: “You have to whistle again, otherwise you will go to jail.”
The train started to cry, lost his oil-tears and jumped around like a dog catching his tail. But he slipped on the tears and flipped on his back and directly to the Outback in Australia.
The driver – who was still alive and also in the Outback – wrote a letter to Phyllis with four letters: H E L P! and stuffed it in the pouch of the kangaroo with the name of Isabelle. She rode as fast as possible on her bike to Phyllis.
Phyllis was listening to an opera in the Sydney Opera House. The orchestra was whistling the trains whistle. So, the Orchestra, Isabelle and Phyllis took a yellow bus and drove back to the train. The orchestra played the music, the train was so moved, that Phyllis was back, that it started to whistle again.
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Drama in the Broye
The train pulls in Estavayer and an old lady tries to step down. She falls down and breaks her left leg, the right arm and the nose. That's enough. She says: “Darn, I'll be late for my appointment. And by the way, is there a plastic surgeon?” The conductor says: “No, we have only two vets.” Fortunately a beautiful man comes and steals the ladies purse. But a huge dog – Mad Donald is his name and he has a barrel - runs after the thief and bites his leg and then his arm. The lady says to the man: “You see, it hurts.” The conductor takes the barrel and wants to give a sip of Whiskey to the lady. But she says: “Oh no, I'm from the blue cross. But I see a horse in the field to take me to the hospital. It has eight legs.” The thief says: “I can use the Whiskey to clean up my wounds.” “What a shame,” says the conductor and pushes the man under the train and sings: “Good morning, Estavayer, how are you. Next stop is always Yverdon.” Let's hope the hospital is open when the lady comes. |
Happy hour at Lady's Manor
On February 12th, 12 people came to the english party and enjoyed the get-together with a song, laughter, good company, food and drinks at Lady's Manor. Thank you Phyllis for your hospitality. All the best and see you soon. 
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The Tail of Mad Donald
The fire went out and that is true. I was looking for my slippers. All I can find are my gumboots. My goal is to make Estavayer great again with the gumboots. I don't seem to find my dog. I think he's running for syndic. No, the dog is in the fountain with my slippers. I say to the dog, his name is Donald, who thinks he's a duck and he is blind:
The fire went out and that is true. I was looking for my slippers. All I can find are my gumboots. My goal is to make Estavayer great again with the gumboots. I don't seem to find my dog. I think he's running for syndic. No, the dog is in the fountain with my slippers. I say to the dog, his name is Donald, who thinks he's a duck and he is blind:
- Why did you take my slippers?
- Because I like the smell. And I can run away much faster and Donald Trump can't follow me.
- And I can't find a end to this story.
- Well, let me chew on this, while I'm chasing my tail.
The moonwalker from Köniz
A good looking young man comes from Köniz on his bicycle (electric). He stops at a fountain and to his surprise, the water was warm and salty.
So he started to think:
What can I do? I can surf, because I can see the waves and the tide is very high.
And suddenly a mermaid swims in the fountain and says:
Hi, I'm Dolly the mermaid. I'm not working 9 to 5. But I can take you to your best dreams. What are they?
He says:
I'm hungry. I want to go to the moon and taste something I never tasted.
Dolly says:
I have a magic carpet. Jump on, my friend.
And there they become moonwalkers like Michael Jackson.
A good looking young man comes from Köniz on his bicycle (electric). He stops at a fountain and to his surprise, the water was warm and salty.
So he started to think:
What can I do? I can surf, because I can see the waves and the tide is very high.
And suddenly a mermaid swims in the fountain and says:
Hi, I'm Dolly the mermaid. I'm not working 9 to 5. But I can take you to your best dreams. What are they?
He says:
I'm hungry. I want to go to the moon and taste something I never tasted.
Dolly says:
I have a magic carpet. Jump on, my friend.
And there they become moonwalkers like Michael Jackson.
English party at My Lady's Manor
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The Ring of Fire had to be moved - the smoke was too thick!
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Thank you Phyllis for the excellent wines you served.
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26th of June the glasses will be filled at Les Pertzettes.
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What bankers become
By a foggy morning, as it is usually in Estavayer, a frog sang:
Make me an angel, that flies from Gstaad with a lot of money.
The frog's name was Alphonso Couldbeenough and he was very greedy. He was so greedy, that he is acting like a Credit Suisse manager. He doesn't tell the truth, he is selfish, he has bigger eyes than his belly, he is lazy, he is arrogant, his german is bad, his french also and his english is even worse. He spends his money in big hotels, he meets stars and politicians, and Gianni Infantino, he has a big villa in Qatar with a very large swimming pool and a gulf course. Every night he has much more whores than you can think of.
This morning, Antony drove his Maserati – the best one – from Yverdon to Estavayer. By the lake, in the fog, he saw Alphonso sitting on the road and hitchhiking. But too late. Antony tried to break. But then he recognized Alphonso an accelerated. The only word Alphonso said was “pflatsh” – and then he became an UBS-Angel.
By a foggy morning, as it is usually in Estavayer, a frog sang:
Make me an angel, that flies from Gstaad with a lot of money.
The frog's name was Alphonso Couldbeenough and he was very greedy. He was so greedy, that he is acting like a Credit Suisse manager. He doesn't tell the truth, he is selfish, he has bigger eyes than his belly, he is lazy, he is arrogant, his german is bad, his french also and his english is even worse. He spends his money in big hotels, he meets stars and politicians, and Gianni Infantino, he has a big villa in Qatar with a very large swimming pool and a gulf course. Every night he has much more whores than you can think of.
This morning, Antony drove his Maserati – the best one – from Yverdon to Estavayer. By the lake, in the fog, he saw Alphonso sitting on the road and hitchhiking. But too late. Antony tried to break. But then he recognized Alphonso an accelerated. The only word Alphonso said was “pflatsh” – and then he became an UBS-Angel.
Where is Alain Berset?
There is a big crater in Ngorongoro. In this crater there are many strange things. For example the Fglopogropl. It has seven legs, a lot of feathers and is five meters tall. If it is singing:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
you have to protect your ears. Otherwise you are starting to knock on heaven's door.
Then Alain Berset comes to the Ngorongoro, because he wants to be well known in Ngorongoro. He want's to be well known everywhere. The Fglopogropl loves bald men, because it has a bad taste for men, and it catches Alain and drags it to its cave. So the Department of Foreigns Affairs sends a spy to make a report with forty copies. It says:
Ngorongoro crater – Alain Berset is singing with the well known Fglopogropl:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Finally Alain Berset has found his vocation. Please tell the Tanzanian Governement that they can keep Alain Berset forever until he will sing:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
There is a big crater in Ngorongoro. In this crater there are many strange things. For example the Fglopogropl. It has seven legs, a lot of feathers and is five meters tall. If it is singing:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
you have to protect your ears. Otherwise you are starting to knock on heaven's door.
Then Alain Berset comes to the Ngorongoro, because he wants to be well known in Ngorongoro. He want's to be well known everywhere. The Fglopogropl loves bald men, because it has a bad taste for men, and it catches Alain and drags it to its cave. So the Department of Foreigns Affairs sends a spy to make a report with forty copies. It says:
Ngorongoro crater – Alain Berset is singing with the well known Fglopogropl:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Finally Alain Berset has found his vocation. Please tell the Tanzanian Governement that they can keep Alain Berset forever until he will sing:
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door
What's if you're waiting for paradise.
In paradise Madeleine and Phyllis want mushrooms, tall mushrooms, tons of enormous naked mushrooms. To get there they need a drone invented by Hitch. It has seven, eleven or more propellers driven by hydrogen and carbon free. The gondola of the drone has place for three persons. So the discussion begins:
Isabelle: I don't want to go to paradise already.
Madeleine: I don't want go to paradise either. Oh, I have idea. No, I want to go, because I will open a mushroom office in paradise.
Phyllis: I feel obligated to go, in order they need a controller for the mushrooms.
Hitch: I am the expert.
Loretta: There is no business without competition, so I have to go too!
And now the rules are clear for Hitch: “We can hang three persons outside the gondola and the expert is inside”. So the ladies put on their wing-suits and the gondola flies to paradise and the four open up a mushroom office.
In paradise Madeleine and Phyllis want mushrooms, tall mushrooms, tons of enormous naked mushrooms. To get there they need a drone invented by Hitch. It has seven, eleven or more propellers driven by hydrogen and carbon free. The gondola of the drone has place for three persons. So the discussion begins:
Isabelle: I don't want to go to paradise already.
Madeleine: I don't want go to paradise either. Oh, I have idea. No, I want to go, because I will open a mushroom office in paradise.
Phyllis: I feel obligated to go, in order they need a controller for the mushrooms.
Hitch: I am the expert.
Loretta: There is no business without competition, so I have to go too!
And now the rules are clear for Hitch: “We can hang three persons outside the gondola and the expert is inside”. So the ladies put on their wing-suits and the gondola flies to paradise and the four open up a mushroom office.
Thomas' rescue
Once upon a time there was a lake that had a door you cannot open so the lake is not very deep. The sun went down. A mermaid came up and cling-clang rang at the door. No reaction. Then she sang: “Thooooooomaaaaaaaaas!” But Thomas was afraid because his wife was with him.
Once upon a time there was a lake that had a door you cannot open so the lake is not very deep. The sun went down. A mermaid came up and cling-clang rang at the door. No reaction. Then she sang: “Thooooooomaaaaaaaaas!” But Thomas was afraid because his wife was with him.
- So he called the Rowing Club of Estavayer for help. But nobody answered.
- So he called the Life Guard Ueli Maurer. But Ueli was with the Freiheitstrychler.
- So he called the Little Mermaid of Copenhagen. Instantly she came with the Kings Guard of Copenhagen and they opened the door and protected Thomas from his wife. Everything was fine and we have a peaceful end.
The flying magical donkey
Once upon a time a whole family went to the Swiss Alps. They had a donkey with them. And then the donkey exploded, because it ate to many mushrooms. They had forgotten the picnic and they grilled the donkey upon the fire. But the mushrooms were hallucinogenic. The family started to sing old songs from the US. The Yellow submarine, but that's not from America. Now they needed a new donkey from the Donkey Rental Office – DRO of America Inc.
They didn't have enough money to pay it. The credit card didn't work in the Swiss Alps. They had to work as alp cleaners. They collected some Coca Cola cans. It wasn't a publicity. They collected rubbish everywhere, but the parents were high and still singing in a Alp bar and not working. After a while the kids created a yodelling club and yodelled and the parents went around with a hat.
The kids: Iouoooououojoooidduuuuuiii.
The parents: Thank you for your money.
The clerk of the Donkey Rental Office: Here is your flying magical donkey.
Once upon a time a whole family went to the Swiss Alps. They had a donkey with them. And then the donkey exploded, because it ate to many mushrooms. They had forgotten the picnic and they grilled the donkey upon the fire. But the mushrooms were hallucinogenic. The family started to sing old songs from the US. The Yellow submarine, but that's not from America. Now they needed a new donkey from the Donkey Rental Office – DRO of America Inc.
They didn't have enough money to pay it. The credit card didn't work in the Swiss Alps. They had to work as alp cleaners. They collected some Coca Cola cans. It wasn't a publicity. They collected rubbish everywhere, but the parents were high and still singing in a Alp bar and not working. After a while the kids created a yodelling club and yodelled and the parents went around with a hat.
The kids: Iouoooououojoooidduuuuuiii.
The parents: Thank you for your money.
The clerk of the Donkey Rental Office: Here is your flying magical donkey.
The new Yellow Submarine
Once there was a submarine. It was old an had to be repainted. The captain called Tom Sawyer to help him. The problem was that the paint was water based. What to do? Tom said: “Let's take the boat out of the water.” So they did. They had a good idea: They put it on exhibition in Expo 02 and every one saw it didn't belong to Piccard. A submarine on solid ground isn't useful. So they made some transformations – it became an Air BnB.
The first guests were John Lennon and Tom's Aunt. They sang together the song “Yellow Submarine”. The second guests were the Queen of England and Huckleberry Finn. They sang together “God shave the Queen”. The Queen found that it was a pity to leave the submarine on the ground an offered her swimming pool at Buckingham Palace to have a new attraction in England. The Freeburgh tourist office appeared and told her: “ Your Majesty; here you must pay a tourist tax for every day. It's 1.60 francs for an adult. That makes 6.40 francs.”
So all the Russian oligarchs put their boats on the Lake of Morat, because the tax is so cheap.
Once there was a submarine. It was old an had to be repainted. The captain called Tom Sawyer to help him. The problem was that the paint was water based. What to do? Tom said: “Let's take the boat out of the water.” So they did. They had a good idea: They put it on exhibition in Expo 02 and every one saw it didn't belong to Piccard. A submarine on solid ground isn't useful. So they made some transformations – it became an Air BnB.
The first guests were John Lennon and Tom's Aunt. They sang together the song “Yellow Submarine”. The second guests were the Queen of England and Huckleberry Finn. They sang together “God shave the Queen”. The Queen found that it was a pity to leave the submarine on the ground an offered her swimming pool at Buckingham Palace to have a new attraction in England. The Freeburgh tourist office appeared and told her: “ Your Majesty; here you must pay a tourist tax for every day. It's 1.60 francs for an adult. That makes 6.40 francs.”
So all the Russian oligarchs put their boats on the Lake of Morat, because the tax is so cheap.
Cars become frogs
Today in Estavayer I meet Gandalf. He wears a Mac, because it is raining. He looks up to the skies and says: “Do you need a miracle?” I say: “No, I'm waiting for my balloon. It's coming out from the blue skies behind the rainbow. It will land on the roof of the church behind the moon fields. But first, stop all the traffic in the city, so the children can look up to the balloon.”
When the balloon arrives on the top of the church, it becomes a fireball. That's not a miracle, but an accident. The fireman stops cleaning his clean machine, turns the hourglass and drives quickly to the church. And he is very happy to have work. After he has stopped the fire, all the children get on the fire engine to make a round trip in Estavayer.
Gandalf is disappointed because he wanted to go on the fire engine too. But there was no more space for him. So he said: “All the children are invited to come in the balloon.” With a lot of noise the children follow him. Gandalf makes a new balloon. That's now a miracle. The children jump into the basket and then Gandalf starts. He turns all the cars in the city into frogs.
Today in Estavayer I meet Gandalf. He wears a Mac, because it is raining. He looks up to the skies and says: “Do you need a miracle?” I say: “No, I'm waiting for my balloon. It's coming out from the blue skies behind the rainbow. It will land on the roof of the church behind the moon fields. But first, stop all the traffic in the city, so the children can look up to the balloon.”
When the balloon arrives on the top of the church, it becomes a fireball. That's not a miracle, but an accident. The fireman stops cleaning his clean machine, turns the hourglass and drives quickly to the church. And he is very happy to have work. After he has stopped the fire, all the children get on the fire engine to make a round trip in Estavayer.
Gandalf is disappointed because he wanted to go on the fire engine too. But there was no more space for him. So he said: “All the children are invited to come in the balloon.” With a lot of noise the children follow him. Gandalf makes a new balloon. That's now a miracle. The children jump into the basket and then Gandalf starts. He turns all the cars in the city into frogs.
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An unexpected fishing party
There was a green hill surrounded by a small river. A fisherman was standing at its board and was watching the jumping trouts. He was dreaming of his very sexy girlfriend Betty and why she had left him. Why had she done this? Was he too old? Was he too fat? Was he too poor? Was he too ugly? Was he too small? But all this was not the reason. A much younger man, almost a boy, well done, with blonde curled hair, many muscles, had crossed her way and stepped into her life. She felt in love with him instantly. “What can I do?” said the fisherman. An other fisherman a little bit further heard that and went to him: • What's the matter? • I lost my girlfriend. • Oh, this is not a big drama. There are a lot of nice men like me around. And I will be proud to be your friend. You are such a handy man. • Are you sure? • Yes. May I kiss you? • Yes and after that we will marry. Both men had tears in their eyes. And we have to stop the story, because the rest is only for adults. |
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The cop and the blond girl in pink shorts, pink stockings, blue shoes and a yellow t-shirt
This is not the end, but the beginning of the story. But just the beginning. So let us begin and start. Otherwise we will never finish. We will start with animals or with a cop. Not a cup. Not a cup of tea. The cop was hot. Why? Why was the cop hot? Too much people have no mask. Corona is everywhere. “I hate Corona,” said the cop. “And I hate vegetables, green beans, gospel songs, preachers and little blond girls and sometimes – Trump's hairstyle, which costs 70'000 Dollars. What can I do?”
A little blond girl in pink shorts, pink stockings, blue shoes and a yellow t-shirt said to the cop:
Do you like my hairstyle? It's not much better than Trump's. But I got it for four Dollars.
Shut up!
We live in a democratic country so please answer and respect me. The hairstyle should cost the same for everybody.
If you begin to sing a gospel song I will kill you!
He's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the policeman in his hands.
The song is so beautiful that the cop begins to cry and he gives the little blond girl a kiss trough the mask.
This is not the end, but the beginning of the story. But just the beginning. So let us begin and start. Otherwise we will never finish. We will start with animals or with a cop. Not a cup. Not a cup of tea. The cop was hot. Why? Why was the cop hot? Too much people have no mask. Corona is everywhere. “I hate Corona,” said the cop. “And I hate vegetables, green beans, gospel songs, preachers and little blond girls and sometimes – Trump's hairstyle, which costs 70'000 Dollars. What can I do?”
A little blond girl in pink shorts, pink stockings, blue shoes and a yellow t-shirt said to the cop:
Do you like my hairstyle? It's not much better than Trump's. But I got it for four Dollars.
Shut up!
We live in a democratic country so please answer and respect me. The hairstyle should cost the same for everybody.
If you begin to sing a gospel song I will kill you!
He's got the whole world in his hands, he's got the policeman in his hands.
The song is so beautiful that the cop begins to cry and he gives the little blond girl a kiss trough the mask.
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Das Unterhosenknopfloch
Das Unterhosenknopfloch weint, denn es hat den Knopf verloren. Er war schlecht angenäht gewesen. Im Winter ist dies nicht so schlimm, denn es ist kalt draussen. Draussen ist es immer kälter als drinnen. Das Unterhosenknopfloch sucht sich in der Schublade der Grossmutter einen neuen Knopf. Dort gibt es rote, blaue, rosarote, goldene, bunte Knöpfe, aber sie sind alle zu klein. „Die Alternative wäre, wenn man mich teilweise zunähen würde,“ denkt das Unterhosenknopfloch. „Aber das Problem ist, dass es hier kein Unterhosenknopflochreparaturinstitut gibt.“ Das Unterhosenknopfloch fährt nach Wien und sagt:
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The best meeting of the world of all time
Anna comes to the desert island. No trees, no water. Only stones and sand and poisonous snakes. Suddenly a big monkey is arriving and says:
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A nice story
We start with the holy bible. Godfather created the firmament, he separated water and land, switched on the light, seeded grass and planted trees, created the animals and then he was tired. He sat down and waited for a while. And he had the idea – something is missing. So he goes down to the earth, he takes sand, earth and water and formed a body to his own. After he gave him a soul and Adam was created. Several times Adam turned around and he was unhappy. God saw this and said I must change this. He takes a rip out of Adams breast and formed Eve. It takes some times and even Adam and Eve were unhappy in paradise. A clever snake mounted an apple tree and explained Eve how to make babies. Adam and Eve were very happy and God sent them out of paradise. The reason was, God was not the only one to create life.
After some years Adam and Eve had two sons : Ken and Able. When Ken and Able became young men they had the same problem as Adam and Eve. And God said: I will send them twelve female angels. (Not Mohammed invented the harem). One year later Abel had nine children, Ken no one. Now what was happening? Ken realized that Abel was in his harem. That's why he killed Ken.
What's the quintessence of this story? Ken wasn't able.
We start with the holy bible. Godfather created the firmament, he separated water and land, switched on the light, seeded grass and planted trees, created the animals and then he was tired. He sat down and waited for a while. And he had the idea – something is missing. So he goes down to the earth, he takes sand, earth and water and formed a body to his own. After he gave him a soul and Adam was created. Several times Adam turned around and he was unhappy. God saw this and said I must change this. He takes a rip out of Adams breast and formed Eve. It takes some times and even Adam and Eve were unhappy in paradise. A clever snake mounted an apple tree and explained Eve how to make babies. Adam and Eve were very happy and God sent them out of paradise. The reason was, God was not the only one to create life.
After some years Adam and Eve had two sons : Ken and Able. When Ken and Able became young men they had the same problem as Adam and Eve. And God said: I will send them twelve female angels. (Not Mohammed invented the harem). One year later Abel had nine children, Ken no one. Now what was happening? Ken realized that Abel was in his harem. That's why he killed Ken.
What's the quintessence of this story? Ken wasn't able.
Barbie can and July can too
Mother July of Estavayer-le-Lac liked to play with her Barbie-doll when she was a little girl. And Barbie was playing with her. When se becomes older she buys an iPhone 11. Why she prefers an iPhone 11? She can make pictures and use new technologies. So she can speak with her Barbie with the iPhone:
July Hello Barbie, how are you?
Barbie Fine, thanks. But I'm bored, because Ken isn't here.
July I could be bored too, because my boyfriend isn't here too. We can cry together.
Barbie We can organize a party – You and James, Ken and me.
July We can go out without the boys.
Barbie We can march to the X-mas market and sing on the singing X-mas tree of estasympa.
When they come to the market, they find a Barbie-can, a beer-can and a Pepsi-can. “Now we can and yes we can”, says Barbie. After the twentieth beer-can they started to sing on the X-mas tree: “We wish you a merry X-mas... “
Mother July of Estavayer-le-Lac liked to play with her Barbie-doll when she was a little girl. And Barbie was playing with her. When se becomes older she buys an iPhone 11. Why she prefers an iPhone 11? She can make pictures and use new technologies. So she can speak with her Barbie with the iPhone:
July Hello Barbie, how are you?
Barbie Fine, thanks. But I'm bored, because Ken isn't here.
July I could be bored too, because my boyfriend isn't here too. We can cry together.
Barbie We can organize a party – You and James, Ken and me.
July We can go out without the boys.
Barbie We can march to the X-mas market and sing on the singing X-mas tree of estasympa.
When they come to the market, they find a Barbie-can, a beer-can and a Pepsi-can. “Now we can and yes we can”, says Barbie. After the twentieth beer-can they started to sing on the X-mas tree: “We wish you a merry X-mas... “
A Christmas story
Today it is difficult to write a Christmas story. Too much stories exist, but our story will be the best.
It's snowing and very cold in the White House. Ivanka is freezing in the kitchen. Tonight is Christmas, and she has to cook a Christmas dinner. She has no wood for the stove, because the glass of the window is broken. The ice cold wind is blowing through the window and even the candles have no chance to burn and give light and warmth. She lost her jacket, and her hat, and the gloves, and the shoes, and the trousers too, and her blouse. She is in her tiny underwear.
Ivanka is desperate. She thinks: “Oh, in the cellar I have a petroleum lamp.” When she lights the lamp there is a big explosion. The petroleum runs over the table and soon the White House is on fire. And now she is no more freezing, but she is burning. After three minutes she is dead. But, because it's Christmas, an angel is coming and saves her life. He is singing: “Swing low, sweet Ivanka, coming for to carry Trump home.” And with the trumpet he trumps Trump to heaven. Thank you, angel and happy Christmas! It's a nice Christmas story – no more Trump. What a gift!
Today it is difficult to write a Christmas story. Too much stories exist, but our story will be the best.
It's snowing and very cold in the White House. Ivanka is freezing in the kitchen. Tonight is Christmas, and she has to cook a Christmas dinner. She has no wood for the stove, because the glass of the window is broken. The ice cold wind is blowing through the window and even the candles have no chance to burn and give light and warmth. She lost her jacket, and her hat, and the gloves, and the shoes, and the trousers too, and her blouse. She is in her tiny underwear.
Ivanka is desperate. She thinks: “Oh, in the cellar I have a petroleum lamp.” When she lights the lamp there is a big explosion. The petroleum runs over the table and soon the White House is on fire. And now she is no more freezing, but she is burning. After three minutes she is dead. But, because it's Christmas, an angel is coming and saves her life. He is singing: “Swing low, sweet Ivanka, coming for to carry Trump home.” And with the trumpet he trumps Trump to heaven. Thank you, angel and happy Christmas! It's a nice Christmas story – no more Trump. What a gift!
Schwierige Mission in Moskau
Gestern zwei Missionare mit dem Helikopter nach Moskau geflogen. Sie hatten einen Auftrag: Bären zu Hilfe kommen. Sie haben zwei Bären in der Stadt gesehen und sind ihnen nachgerannt, uk sie zu fangen. Doch die Bären wollten nicht gefangen werden. Sie rannten bis zu einem Parkplatz, wo viele Freunde sie in Schutz nahmen. Plötzlich kamen alle Bären unseren Missionaren entgegen und sahen sie böse an. Ganz erschrocken rannten diese davon und die Bären hinter ihnen her. Die Situation war umgekehrt. Doch die Missionare hatten keine Freunde in Moskau. Glücklicherweise hat sie der Helikopterpilot gerettet. Sie waren schnell wieder in der Luft und in Sicherheit. Sie waren zwar nicht sehr stolz, aber lebendig. Das nächste Mal, dachten sie, wird es eine Mission mit Insekten sein.
Gestern zwei Missionare mit dem Helikopter nach Moskau geflogen. Sie hatten einen Auftrag: Bären zu Hilfe kommen. Sie haben zwei Bären in der Stadt gesehen und sind ihnen nachgerannt, uk sie zu fangen. Doch die Bären wollten nicht gefangen werden. Sie rannten bis zu einem Parkplatz, wo viele Freunde sie in Schutz nahmen. Plötzlich kamen alle Bären unseren Missionaren entgegen und sahen sie böse an. Ganz erschrocken rannten diese davon und die Bären hinter ihnen her. Die Situation war umgekehrt. Doch die Missionare hatten keine Freunde in Moskau. Glücklicherweise hat sie der Helikopterpilot gerettet. Sie waren schnell wieder in der Luft und in Sicherheit. Sie waren zwar nicht sehr stolz, aber lebendig. Das nächste Mal, dachten sie, wird es eine Mission mit Insekten sein.
Ein sehr, um nicht zu sagen, ein sehr seltsamer Kinderliedabend
„Was für ein wundervoller Abend“, sagt Brischitt, als die Kuckucksuhr zu Boden fällt. „Endlich hört dieses Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck auf. „Dieses nervt mich seit Jahren“. Plötzlich ist es ganz still. Sehr lange sehr still. Zu lange und zu still. So darf es nicht dauern, denkt Brischitt. Eine neue Uhr muss her. „Wann fahren wir in den Schwarzwald?“ fragt sie den Grossvater.
„Vielleicht könnte man auch ins Neuenburgerland fahren, oder nicht?“ brummt der Grossvater. „Der Schwarzwald ist mir viel zu weit weg, aber im Neuenburgerland hat der Jäger doch kürzlich den letzten Kuckuck tot geschossen, also erlegt, ich meine getötet um nicht zu sagen, umgebracht, liquidiert und eliminiert. Zägg bumm! Es hat vielleicht nichts damit zu tun, aber die Chinesen spielen gut Kontrabass.“
„Mein Hut der hat drei Ecken,“ sagt Brischitt und setzt ihn auf. Währenddem fällt die Kokosnuss aus dem Hut und brüllt: „Wer hat die Kokosnuss, wer hat die Kokosnuss, wer hat die Kokosnuss geklaut?“ „Es war der liebe Augustin,“ brummt der Grossvater, „ und die Kokosnuss ist hin". Und schon stehen die drei Chinesen da, ohne Kontrabass, aber mit grossen Gefühlen für Brischitt. Uber wur wullun nucht grubuln und sunkun dun Vurhung dus Schwuuguns uber dus Guschuhun. Uh!
„Was für ein wundervoller Abend“, sagt Brischitt, als die Kuckucksuhr zu Boden fällt. „Endlich hört dieses Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck Kuckuck auf. „Dieses nervt mich seit Jahren“. Plötzlich ist es ganz still. Sehr lange sehr still. Zu lange und zu still. So darf es nicht dauern, denkt Brischitt. Eine neue Uhr muss her. „Wann fahren wir in den Schwarzwald?“ fragt sie den Grossvater.
„Vielleicht könnte man auch ins Neuenburgerland fahren, oder nicht?“ brummt der Grossvater. „Der Schwarzwald ist mir viel zu weit weg, aber im Neuenburgerland hat der Jäger doch kürzlich den letzten Kuckuck tot geschossen, also erlegt, ich meine getötet um nicht zu sagen, umgebracht, liquidiert und eliminiert. Zägg bumm! Es hat vielleicht nichts damit zu tun, aber die Chinesen spielen gut Kontrabass.“
„Mein Hut der hat drei Ecken,“ sagt Brischitt und setzt ihn auf. Währenddem fällt die Kokosnuss aus dem Hut und brüllt: „Wer hat die Kokosnuss, wer hat die Kokosnuss, wer hat die Kokosnuss geklaut?“ „Es war der liebe Augustin,“ brummt der Grossvater, „ und die Kokosnuss ist hin". Und schon stehen die drei Chinesen da, ohne Kontrabass, aber mit grossen Gefühlen für Brischitt. Uber wur wullun nucht grubuln und sunkun dun Vurhung dus Schwuuguns uber dus Guschuhun. Uh!
The flying ice-bear wants to loose its fat
He has big white wings and he is very fat and heavy, like Trump. What happens? This Tuesday he wants to fly, but he is too heavy and he falls on his nose. What can he do? Good question. Eat less young seals? Do more sports? Have more sex? Drink less alcoholic beverages like Whiskey, Gin, Vodka, Rum, Rye, Dark-Beer, Guiness, Red-Wine, White-Wine, Champagne, Prosecco, Planters Punch, Bloody Mary, Gin Tonic, Mojito, Cuba Libre, Baileys and so on? Maybe he should walk or play tennis, or ski, snowboard, ice skating, play ice hockey. Should he go to the sauna or the hammam of his friend, the eskimo in his igloo? A massage by the penguins could do some good too.
He decides to go to eskimo doctor.
- Hello, doctor, I want to fly but I'm too fat.
- Hum... just take a plane, dummy!
- No, I can't.
- Why?
- Greta Thunberg said, do not fly with planes. It's not good for our planet.
- Go into your hole and sleep the next five months.
When he awakes again, the ice-bear is so thin, he can fly again.
He has big white wings and he is very fat and heavy, like Trump. What happens? This Tuesday he wants to fly, but he is too heavy and he falls on his nose. What can he do? Good question. Eat less young seals? Do more sports? Have more sex? Drink less alcoholic beverages like Whiskey, Gin, Vodka, Rum, Rye, Dark-Beer, Guiness, Red-Wine, White-Wine, Champagne, Prosecco, Planters Punch, Bloody Mary, Gin Tonic, Mojito, Cuba Libre, Baileys and so on? Maybe he should walk or play tennis, or ski, snowboard, ice skating, play ice hockey. Should he go to the sauna or the hammam of his friend, the eskimo in his igloo? A massage by the penguins could do some good too.
He decides to go to eskimo doctor.
- Hello, doctor, I want to fly but I'm too fat.
- Hum... just take a plane, dummy!
- No, I can't.
- Why?
- Greta Thunberg said, do not fly with planes. It's not good for our planet.
- Go into your hole and sleep the next five months.
When he awakes again, the ice-bear is so thin, he can fly again.
Die Familie Ranastavicus (Deutschtreffen 01.10.19)
In Estavayer gibt es viele Frösche. Zwei Dinge haben die Frösche nicht gern: Trockenheit und die Störche und die Fischreiher. Das sind zwar schon drei Dinge. Fragt man den Frosch Ranastavicus, so sagt er „Ich hasse es, wenn man meine Schenkel isst oder mich in einem Museum ausstellt.“
„Auch der Platzmangel im Teich bedrückt. Meine Fröschin und ich haben 4872 Nachkommen und dies jedes Jahr. Schon bei der Namenssuche wird es sehr schwierig. Der Familienname Ranastavicus ist zwar gleich, aber die Vornamen müssen ja verschieden sein. Quaken und googeln helfen uns sicher weiter.“
Sie finden Alicia, Bartholomäus, Cécile, Dora, Emil, Fritz, Gustav, Hans, Ida, Jeremias, Karl, Leo, Max, Norbert, Otto, Paul, Quentin, Rudolf, Siegfried, Theo, Ulrich, Viktor, Yvonne und Xaver. Das waren aber erst 26 und es fehlten noch 4856. Der Zarathustra wird noch nachgeliefert. Insofern beschliessen sie, die restlichen Nachkommen zu nummerieren. Also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 und so weiter. Genau so wie es Beethoven mit seinen Symphonien tat. Also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 und 9. Und so war es gut.
In Estavayer gibt es viele Frösche. Zwei Dinge haben die Frösche nicht gern: Trockenheit und die Störche und die Fischreiher. Das sind zwar schon drei Dinge. Fragt man den Frosch Ranastavicus, so sagt er „Ich hasse es, wenn man meine Schenkel isst oder mich in einem Museum ausstellt.“
„Auch der Platzmangel im Teich bedrückt. Meine Fröschin und ich haben 4872 Nachkommen und dies jedes Jahr. Schon bei der Namenssuche wird es sehr schwierig. Der Familienname Ranastavicus ist zwar gleich, aber die Vornamen müssen ja verschieden sein. Quaken und googeln helfen uns sicher weiter.“
Sie finden Alicia, Bartholomäus, Cécile, Dora, Emil, Fritz, Gustav, Hans, Ida, Jeremias, Karl, Leo, Max, Norbert, Otto, Paul, Quentin, Rudolf, Siegfried, Theo, Ulrich, Viktor, Yvonne und Xaver. Das waren aber erst 26 und es fehlten noch 4856. Der Zarathustra wird noch nachgeliefert. Insofern beschliessen sie, die restlichen Nachkommen zu nummerieren. Also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 und so weiter. Genau so wie es Beethoven mit seinen Symphonien tat. Also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 und 9. Und so war es gut.
Peter's holidays - the first english story
Peter goes to London for the first time and in his string tanga. He is very exited, because he will visit the queen. He has a bag with a lot of money, because he likes luxury hotels. He likes also massages with asiatic girls and good food. But after the massage with the lovely girls he goes in a pub. He likes beer an gin tonic and Irish single malt whiskey. And later he eats fish and chips. Everyday he spends a lot of money for clothes as string tangas, shoes, rings, watches, hats and ties. He loves to go to the Camden market, it's really popular, there he buys a lot of things.
When he comes back after the market, the police says: “You cannot walk around in a string tanga. Show me your papers!” Peter says: “I don't have papers. I have only a string tanga and a lot of things in my bag.” The police says: “You are under arrest!” Peter says: “You cannot do that, because I'm a spy and this is my style.” The police says: “Oh, sorry.”
Peter goes to London for the first time and in his string tanga. He is very exited, because he will visit the queen. He has a bag with a lot of money, because he likes luxury hotels. He likes also massages with asiatic girls and good food. But after the massage with the lovely girls he goes in a pub. He likes beer an gin tonic and Irish single malt whiskey. And later he eats fish and chips. Everyday he spends a lot of money for clothes as string tangas, shoes, rings, watches, hats and ties. He loves to go to the Camden market, it's really popular, there he buys a lot of things.
When he comes back after the market, the police says: “You cannot walk around in a string tanga. Show me your papers!” Peter says: “I don't have papers. I have only a string tanga and a lot of things in my bag.” The police says: “You are under arrest!” Peter says: “You cannot do that, because I'm a spy and this is my style.” The police says: “Oh, sorry.”
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Geschlechterkrieg in Stäffis am See
Es war einmal eine Aline und sie hatte vier Kinder. Diese hiessen: Katharusa, Katharina, Katharuhma und Katharitsch. Es waren vier Mädchen. Aber wir sind nicht ganz sicher. Katharitsch könnte auch ein Junge sein. Er konnte sein Geschlecht wählen. Am Sonntag war er immer ein Mädchen, weil er schöne Kleider anziehen konnte. Während der Woche war er ein Junge, weil er gerne Fussball spielte. Katharusa, Katharina und Katharuhma waren wahnsinnig neidisch auf ihn oder sie. So, die Mädchen wollten auch Fussball lernen, aber der Vater war nicht einverstanden und brummte: „ Mädchen spielen keinen Fussball, aber ihr könnt Bob fahren.“ Aber es war glücklicherweise gerade Winter und auch genug kalt, dass das Wasser gefror. Also bauten sie eine Bobbahn von der Drogerie zum Newport und fuhren mit dem Viererbob den ganzen Tag und bei einem Unfall wäre das Spital ganz in der Nähe gewesen, was den Vater beruhigte. Und wenn sie noch nicht gestorben sind, dann fahren sie noch heute. |
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